What is it you're looking for?
Ask the Real Jeff the Killer
"I’m Jeff. Get the fuck out of my house. No — no, I don’t care if you’re ‘not like the other girls’. Get the fuck out. Get — go — leave, before I fucking lose it. Jesus fucking Christ. Do you — do you have the attention span of a starfish?"
Anonymous sent:

want to play a game i made up ??????!?!?!?!!!! it is called cuss!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You didn’t make that up, I play that game 24/7.

Anonymous sent:

you are indeed an asshole. :)

I agree.

issleytheincubus sent:

"You take such joy in pretending you're okay..."

issleytheincubus:

the-real-jeff:

issleytheincubus:

the-real-jeff:

the-real-jeff:

"…I…" Jeff blinked at him, the grin disappearing from his face.  After a long moment of biting his lip in thought, he quietly replied, "It’s actually a lot of hard work blocking everything out…" 

"Do you?  ’Cause it’s always like you think I’m gonna blow up at you for the smallest things when I’ve told you a million times that you can get away with basically anything with me.  It seems like I’m always havin’ to reminding you that we’re even friends in the first place. ”

"…. I… I think the bond is getting in our way, stopping us from having a normal broship(friendship so intense you’re almost siblings. X3)." Issley looked down at the mark on his wrist.

[[Aww!! X3]]

"I just…"  He sighed, shrugging slowly.  "It’s almost like you don’t trust me."

"I trust you, if I didn’t I would have built a different room for you as soon as we were back from Hell. Can we talk? About the bond?"

Jeff nodded slowly.  ”Yeah…”  After a pause, he asked, “You still want it, right..?”

selfblameandcigarettesmoke sent:

I never got your name.

Yes you did.

I told you my name was Jerf.

You said “What kind of name is Jerf?”  And I said “What kind of name is Masky?”

myayylmao sent:

I told u ta say TWO cuss words. u said seventy six of em.

MIND YO DAMN MOTHAFUCKIN’ BUSINESS BITCH.

Anonymous sent:

I almost forgot you had a girlfriend and was shipping you with Iz

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhh

Anonymous sent:

BILLY MAYS'S ZOMBIE HERE WITH A NEW REVOLUTIONARY PRODUCT! INTRODUCING THE SCENT-FREE BLOODSTAIN REMOVER! REMOVES ALL OFFENDING ODORS AND SPLOTCHES SO THEY CAN'T SEE YOU COMMING! FOR 1 EASY PAYMENT OF $6.66! ORDER TODAY AND YOU GET 34 FREE DIAMOND BLADES BECAUSE WE'RE FUCKING OVERSTOCKED

Again, I highly doubt that you’re overstocked with diamonds.

azraelnicotine sent:

[[ MORE OR LESS ]] [[ CHEM JUST ]] [[ 'Jeff don't make me banish you to Hell because I can do that and then you'll only see me when I go down to visit dad and Nick' ]] 'Only fucking you, Jeff. 'I'm bored'. Only you will complain about being bored in death.'

[[HE’D GO TO THE FRIDGE AND SPELL OUT “NOOO” WITH ALPHABET KITCHEN MAGNETS]]

I-V-E D-I-E-D B-E-F-O-R-E I J-U-S-T H-A-V-E T-O R-E-M-E-M-B-E-R H-O-W T-O G-E-T O-U-T

ask-bear-and-prisoner sent:

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH IT'S CHEMICAL

issleytheincubus sent:

"You take such joy in pretending you're okay..."

issleytheincubus:

the-real-jeff:

issleytheincubus:

the-real-jeff:

the-real-jeff:

"…I…" Jeff blinked at him, the grin disappearing from his face.  After a long moment of biting his lip in thought, he quietly replied, "It’s actually a lot of hard work blocking everything out…" 

Jeff looked up at him after a moment, tears still streaming down his face.  ”Iz, you know how important you are to me, right?”  Shaking his head, he continued, “You haven’t wasted a minute of my time since I agreed to the bond, I s-swear.”

"I know, I know." Issley murmured softly, still rubbing Jeff’s back.

"Do you?  ’Cause it’s always like you think I’m gonna blow up at you for the smallest things when I’ve told you a million times that you can get away with basically anything with me.  It seems like I’m always havin’ to reminding you that we’re even friends in the first place. ”

"…. I… I think the bond is getting in our way, stopping us from having a normal broship(friendship so intense you’re almost siblings. X3)." Issley looked down at the mark on his wrist.

[[Aww!! X3]]

"I just…"  He sighed, shrugging slowly.  "It’s almost like you don’t trust me."